The TV has been consigned to the back shed, not that I ever really watched the thing. There might be a radio somewhere in the house, but I wouldn't want to bet on it. I just have no idea what's going on in the world. It's taken me years to get to this point, and I'm enjoying the hell out of it.

Of course, I do tend to read the paper, but only on Tuesday. And I don't even read the paper in a diligent, thorough way: I just turn immediately to the cryptic crossword.

In the old days, before I figured out that there were different compilers and some were better than others, I used to do every cryptic I came across. I can't do that any more: almost all of the compilers in The Age are too easy and too boring. The one exception to this is the wonderful work of DS, whose crossword appears, as you've no doubt guessed, on Tuesday. And every so often, en route to DS, I'll glance at the front page. Especially if there's a big colour photo of something interesting on it.

So if you're about to do something that's going to make headlines all around the world, and you'd like me to know about it, do it on a Monday. That way you'll make the front page on a Tuesday, and I might even find out about it.