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February 11, 2002
The advantage of fake blood capsules and rubber swords
The Lion Princess writes to ask what I would have done if I had been in this situation:
She's in a public place in a different city when a creepy guy who she vaguely knows from years before comes up to her and awkwardly asks her out. She has no absolutely no interest in this obviously undesirable man, and other people are within earshot.
This situation highlights the advantage of always carrying fake blood capsules and a rubber sword. Having been the unlucky recipient of an unwelcome offer, the first step is to loudly say "no, I don't want to go out with you. No way. In fact, I'd rather die than be seen in public with you."
This is the ideal time to pause dramatically and say, at maximum volume, "Omigod - I am in public with you. Aaaaarrrgghh."
It's then a simple matter to pull out the rubber sword and stab yourself a few times in the fake blood capsule area, and slump dramatically to the floor.
Easy.Posted by Sean Hegarty at 11:32 PM in the People category | Comments (0)
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