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February 1, 2003
Lone banana shot at dawn
A special meeting of the Carnarvon Town Council was held last night, and beleagured writer Sean Hegarty emerged a happier man.
He'd just been granted permission to execute a local banana.
"I have made my peace with Carnarvon," he said, "and I have made my peace with the fine fighting folk of Samoa. But peace is impossible with bananas. They are an intractable, malicious foe."
"This particular banana," Hegarty continued, producing a bedraggled specimen, "has caused me much hurt. Let its punishment serve as an example to other bananas. For where one banana causes humiliation, others will surely follow."
The next morning, just before dawn, the banana was placed at the end of Carnarvon pier.
A crowd of several hundred interested people had gathered, and slowly huddled forward. In mock tribute to Hegarty, several small children expressed a desire to watch the ceremony while being held upside down.
Brigadier Gotomega, a renowned Samoan marksman, stepped forward.
A bugle sounded. A rifle cocked. A banana exploded.
A minute's silence followed, and then Hegarty whispered "finis."Posted by Sean Hegarty at 07:59 AM in the War with Samoa category | Comments (1)
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